U5 Style Paper Draft 1

My work: Here

Targets: SC9, SC6, SC15

Reflection: I did not know it was required to submit this first draft to Schoology because it was meant for peer-editing, so I did not think it was necessary to submit it if it was getting reviewed in person.

AP Lit – U3: AP Q2 Revision

My work: Here

Targets: SC2 – ME; SC5 – ME; SC8 – AE; SC14 – ME/AE; SC15 – ME

Feedback: “Heather, I can see you are making great effort to step up your professional tone and language. You are achieving that. What is lost, though, is clarity. I believe if you allow yourself to be a bit more forthright – say it like it is – you will have greater success with clarity for your reader. Disconnect between evidence and analysis and thesis still lingers. Future focus: strong thesis. See doc for notes.”

AP Lit – U5 Style Paper

My work: Here

Targets: ATL: R and R – ME; SC9 – ME; SC6 –  DE; SC15 – ME; ATL: SML – ME

Feedback: “You’ve focused your writing narrow enough and include some good analysis. It is ironic that you chose stylistic features that are visible in the writing but not evident to a viewing audience of this play. How might your paper have struggled with that disparity? No works cited page. References to realism may warrant citation, as well.”

My comments: My score for SC6 was completely unexpected because I did not think I had to submit it to the formative dropbox considering that assignment was for peer-editing and it did not specify that it would be given any instructor feedback (if any was going to be given). I showed my partner my essay and worked off of that feedback that was on the same document.


AP Lit – SS Response

My work: The cultural value of “Girl” is that females have been allotted particular standards that they are expected to live up to. Minimal context is provided, however, the piece showcases the relationship between a mother and daughter. Throughout the piece, the mother imposes what she believes are appropriate behaviours for girls onto her daughter, which are what she learned as she was growing up. This demonstrates how cultural characteristics are passed through generations. The mother overbearingly gives beneficial and detrimental instructions; for example, “…this is how to make good medicine for a cold…” versus “…this is how to hem a dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the slut I know you are so bent on becoming…” As the mother consistently brings up the idea of her daughter becoming a “slut”, it displays how rigid these rules are, not only for mothers to say to daughters but for all females in general. It shows the intolerance society has for a woman’s behaviour if it does not correlate with what is expected of them. Additionally, this piece can be seen as the mother echoing the discrimination she experienced when she was younger and putting her daughter in the same situation. This effectively illustrates the destructive features of our society, and how parents can pass on disastrous directions.

Rubric: SC4: ME, SC15: ME

Comments: Pointing out the rigidity of the culture towards its expectations on girls is good. The piece meanders a bit; could tighten the focus.