My work: Here
Targets: SC2 – ME; SC5 – ME; SC8 – AE; SC14 – ME/AE; SC15 – ME
Feedback: “Heather, I can see you are making great effort to step up your professional tone and language. You are achieving that. What is lost, though, is clarity. I believe if you allow yourself to be a bit more forthright – say it like it is – you will have greater success with clarity for your reader. Disconnect between evidence and analysis and thesis still lingers. Future focus: strong thesis. See doc for notes.”
My work: Page 5 of this doc
Rubric: SC1.1 – EE; SC1.2 – EE; SC3 – ME; SC8 – EE; SC14 – ME; SC15 – ME
My explication: Though the poem “We Real Cool” by Gwendolyn Brooks may seem simplistic at first, it actually captures the full essence of the group of seven pool players at the Golden Shovel this poem is about. The tone directly reflects the defiance and delinquency of the seven people. It demonstrates that this is a group of young people who would rather be out playing pool over staying in school and drinking over studying. However, the diction Brooks utilises in the poem brings its own sense of ambiguity. For example, “strike straight” (l. 4) could mean that the player hits the pool ball in a straight line without hesitation, but this could also refer to throwing punches, and with what we know about the delinquency of the group, it doesn’t seem infeasible. Another example would be “lurk late” (l. 3); which could mean the gang hangs out so late that when it’s finally time to go home, it’s in the early hours of the morning, but it could also imply that these kids don’t have ambition and are wasting their youth on alcohol and pool games that go on into the night. Furthermore, the use of enjambment makes the poem so much more effective. Each line ends with “… We/”, which is out of the ordinary and it symbolises that although this group of pool players may come off as “edgy” and “rebellious” at first, their lives fall into a pattern. This group is out of school and probably does not have much to do, and so they spend every night together at the Golden Shovel playing pool and drinking their youth away, which is why the “We/” at the end of every line becomes something of a habit for the reader as they go through this poem and get used to the routine, just like the characters.
Focus targets: SC8
Extended interpretation (SC8)
I can write an analytical essay in which I draw upon textual details to develop an extended interpretation of a literary text.
Feedback: “You do well with the explication and responding to the prompt. Your writing unfolds nicely to the audience and attends to the complex connotation. Nice.”