“Reinventing Myself” 8th Grade Album

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“Stressed Out” by Twenty One Pilots

I picked this song because it’s how I felt the majority of the year. The lyrics of this song are so relatable to many of my days, but this year especially. That’s because I realise how important these next few years are for the rest of my life, and reality sort of sets in, and I get stressed out when I see the road ahead of me.

 

“Letting Go (놓아 놓아 놓아)” by DAY6

Yes, I picked a KPOP song, but the reason why I picked it was not really about the meaning of the song. This song represents my new obsession with KPOP music, which is a very important milestone for me, even though I barely understand any Korean. This particular song is one of my favorites, and it’s constantly stuck in my head.

 

“Social Casualty” by 5 Seconds of Summer

‘Social casualty’ means a victim of society, which is how I felt at some parts of this year. It felt suffocating, like everyone’s expectations were piling up on top of me and I could never reach them. I love this song so much because in those three precious minutes, it gives me a pep talk. It tells me to not give up and just settle for average, but instead, pursue my own dreams and be free of the expectations that other people push onto me.

 

“Sing” by Pentatonix

Singing has always been a big part of my life, it helps me cope through hard times, celebrate the good times, or vent out the angry times. This song really puts those feelings into words and celebrates the joy singing brings. So why does this song represent this year? That’s because Ms. Bechdoldt, our amazing choir teacher, is leaving, and when I hear this song, it immediately reminds me of her. She’s taught me to love my voice and I’m super thankful for that.

 

“Purpose” by Justin Bieber

This song is one I hold very close to my heart because it represents my family and friends. If not for them, this year would’ve been unbearable. I couldn’t possibly ask for better friends or family than what I have now and this song sums up that message. I owe everything to them.

 

“Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye

I feel like middle school to high school is where we find our true friends. That’s why I picked this song. Throughout the year, I’ve made quite a few friendships, but I’ve broken a lot as well. When I listen to this song, it always makes me think of the friendships that didn’t last, and leaves me with a small sad feeling of “what if?”. What if we stayed friends? Then I realise that I let the friendship go for a reason, and despite anything else, it was for good.

 

“A.M.” by One Direction (Sped up due to Copyright Issues on YouTube.)

When I made more friends/talked to old friends this year, we always ended up talking until really late or for a really long time. And in that time, I got to really know and understand them. In the end, we never really knew what we were saying or doing, but even then, I valued those little conversations.

 

“I Lived” by OneRepublic

Throughout this year, I’ve had my ups and downs, but the most important part is that I persevered. I was alive, not just there and breathing, but truly alive, doing the things I wanted to do and pursuing my dreams. I took the pain I felt and used it to push myself further, to motivate me to do even more. This song is a way of celebrating the things I’ve accomplished and what I hope to achieve.



(m) INP [March #1] Napoleon’s Rise to Power

“Four legs good, two legs bad.” – Orwell, George. Animal Farm. New York: Harcourt, Brace, 1954. Print.

 

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

 

Power is a virus. One that can hurt, heal, and destroy everything in its path. To rise to power from nothing but ashes could be hard or simple. But once you obtain it, there is no escaping the wrath of power, the undying want for it. This is where those with power must realize that it is not something to be taken for granted. If we do, the outcome is the same – corruption. There are those who thirst for power, and live off it until it devours them from the inside. Selfishness, manipulativeness, and unforgiveness all are symptoms of this deadly virus. Napoleon has showed all of these symptoms in many different ways.

He exiled Snowball to get rid of all competition that threatened his rank at the farm. Once Snowball was gone, Napoleon immediately stepping into the leader position and ordering everyone around.

  • “Then he put on an extra spurt and, with a few inches to spare, slipped through a hole in the hedge and was seen no more.” (Orwell, page 68)

After that, Napoleon accused Snowball of being a traitor and spy, working with Mr. Jones all along. And surprisingly many of the animals are fooled.

Napoleon kept all the windblown apples and milk to himself, claiming that since he is the smartest, he needs the most food to “succeed in his duties” and make sure that Mr. Jones doesn’t come back. This shows the first stepping stones of his selfishness.

  • “So it was agreed without further argument that the milk and the windfall apples (and also the main crop of apples when they ripened) should be reserved for the pigs alone.” (Orwell, page 53)

Napoleon also started wearing clothes, sleeping in a bed, standing on two feet, and trading with humans in the outside world. He also starts to live in the same place that Mr. Jones used to live, starting to do everything that Mr. Jones used to do. After a while, Napoleon uses the nine young dogs to control and kill those who decide to oppose him or that have “had contact” with Snowball.  Even if the reason was not believable.

  • “The three hens who had been the ringleaders in the attempted rebellion over the eggs had stated that Snowball had appeared to them in a dream and incited them to disobey Napoleon’s orders. They too, were slaughtered.” (Orwell, page 93)

Eventually, the pigs become more and more similar to the humans they had once overthrown. The commandments of Animalism slowly change, becoming more and more suited to the pig’s actions, such as drinking alcohol and killing the other animals. It changes so much that in the end, the only commandment left on the wall is,

  • “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.” (Orwell, page 133)

This proves that he has total control over the farm. The last paragraph also makes the corruption from power clear,

  • “Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” (Orwell, page 139)

I guess that the question we’re left with is: Why would one want all this power? The answer seems obvious at first, but when we think about it, absolute power does not give its bearer true happiness, love, or life-long fulfillment. Instead, it will only bring misery, distrust in others, and a constant paranoia of losing power. Is having power really worth all that pain?

 

Brain frame for this post:

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(m) INP [January #2] The Maze Runner Timeline

“If you ain’t scared… you ain’t human.” – Dashner, James. The Maze Runner. Somerset: Chicken House, 2014. Print.

 

*SPOILER ALERT*

 

    • Thomas wakes up in the Box arriving at the Glade, with everything but his name forgotten.
    • He befriends Chuck and Chuck teaches him about how the Glade is run.
    • Thomas runs into the Maze, which he is not allowed in, and saves Alby and Minho when they don’t make it out of the maze in time.
    • After surviving this night, he learns that Grievers aren’t immortal.
    • He becomes a Runner, receives punishment for breaking rules, and befriends with Minho.
    • The first girl ever in the Glade, Teresa, shows up and triggers “the end”.
    • One day, Thomas and Minho follow a map and discover the Griever Hole.
    • Teresa and Thomas decipher the Maze’s code to enter the Griever Hole.
    • Thomas gets stung by a Griever so that he can receive the Serum and regain some of his memories from before he woke up in the Box.
    • After recovering, he learns more about himself and how to use the code, after that, he helps lead the boys to their escape.
    • When they do escape, some people are killed by Grievers, but most still manage to escape.
    • They enter the WICKED lab, and armed people start firing. Chuck sacrifices himself to save Thomas, and other people come to “save” them.

 

 

(m) INP [January #1] The World of Fangirl According to Kathryn

“I don’t trust anybody. Not anybody. And the more that I care about someone, the more sure I am they’re going to get tired of me and take off.” – Rowell, Rainbow. Fangirl. New York: St. Martin’s, 2013. Print.

 

This book has touched on so many subjects that I can relate to. The feelings portrayed in the story are written so basically anyone can relate to them. One of the feelings I can relate to is not fitting in, how Cath felt like when she first started college, like this summer, when I joined a performing arts summer camp. I had originally participated in this camp two years ago and had stopped, but since I was free this summer, I decided to perform again. However, the friends I had made two years ago had left and I felt out of place, especially at the audition, where old friends started hugging one another all around me. Or the other feeling of growing apart from a sibling, like how Cath felt when she and Wren started to fallout. Before my brother went to college, he kept to himself and never really talked to me. Then whenever he DID talk to me, he became moody and closed off. Although, at that time, I wasn’t too close to him, I still felt saddened by the loss of the little connection we did have. However, now, our relationship is as strong as ever, and although he can still be the most irritating person in the world, we are very close. Reading this book really made me think and reflect about my past experiences. Especially some parts that were particularly dark, that I wasn’t the only one feeling that feeling. That somebody else out there was like me. And that sooner or later, I would be able to prevail and have my own happy ending.

 

(m) INP [December #1] A Letter to Tamlin

“Pity those who don’t feel anything at all.” – Maas, Sarah J. A Court of Thorns and Roses. London: Bloomsbury PLC, 2015. Print.

 

 

*SPOILER ALERT*

 

 

Dear Tamlin,

I’m not sure what to say to you, or even, i’m not sure why I’m writing this letter. This sounds crazy, but I miss waking up to Alis’ calls. I miss seeing Lucien’s red hair flying in the wind as he hunts. I miss the long tables where you seem like you’re in another room. And most of all, I miss you, your face, your voice, your touch, your everything. I guess I still haven’t thanked you properly for helping my family while I was gone, thank you, so very much. It’s almost surreal being at home. Seeing my dad smile from his “newly found” success and my sisters not starving to death is definitely a sight I could get used to seeing. Who would have thought Nesta would be the one to see through your glamour. At first, I kept catching her glaring at me, almost knowingly, then she actually confronted me. You know, Nesta was planning on rescuing me. Crossing the wall for me. To save me. I guess she didn’t hate me as much as I thought, huh? I told her everything that happened, she still accepted me, so that’s good. Write back, or don’t, if you’re busy.

When can I come back, Tamlin? When can I see you again? I don’t think I could endure this any longer.

Just, stay safe. I love you.

All my love,

Feyre

This letter is written when Tamlin sends Feyre back across the wall, the mortal side. She regrets not telling him, “I love you.” back and even though she writes the letter. There is no way he can receive it. Although, in the beginning, she was forced to go to Prythian, she soon falls in love with Tamlin and doesn’t want to leave him. However, he was worried that Amarantha would go look for Feyre and wanted to protect her. This letter kind of are the words she couldn’t say, and didn’t say.

 

NaNoWriMo Reflection

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Overall, how did NaNoWriMo go? What went well? What did not go well?

I think that NaNoWriMo started off pretty well, but after a while, I got unmotivated and kind of just stopped updating. The first few days, I had a continuous routine of updating, but as the month progressed, I had less and less time to update my story. That and my writer’s block made it very irritating to write the story. However, there were those times where I had a really good idea and just was able to write for a long time.

What did you learn about yourself? (Did you grow in writing or discipline or any other areas)?

I learned that I need to manage my time better. But I think I learned that if I get all my ideas first and make it quantity over quality, then edit it so it is also high quality, my stories are longer because I have a lot more to work with.

What is the end result? Are you cleaning up a short part to get published?

I think i’m going to keep working on the story until it’s finished and maybe when I’m done, post it on wattpad.

(m) INP [October #2] Everything I Hadn’t Said

“We rarely find a depth by looking inside of ourselves for it. Depth is found in what we can learn from the people and things around us. Everyone, everything, has a story, Gia. When you learn those stories, you learn experiences that fill you up, that expand your understanding. You add layers to your soul.” – West, Kasie. The Fill-In Boyfriend. California: HarperCollins. 2015. Print.

 

*CRAZY SPOILER ALERT ONCE AGAIN*

 

The Fill-In Boyfriend

 

 

This postcard shows what the protagonist, Gia, is thinking during the climax of the story. In The Fill-In Boyfriend, Gia is dumped by her boyfriend, Bradley, the night of prom when she was going to introduce him to her friends. While Gia is stressing out, she sees another guy dropping his sister off and asks him to fill-in. To her surprise, he says yes. Thus starts a web of lies, trickery, and fraud; one that Gia knows is slowly starting to unravel. Unknowingly, she starts to fall for her fill-in boyfriend. Until out of the blue, Bradley shows up and exposes all her lies, destroying her friendships and her even jeopardizing her new-found love. This postcard is set between her fight with Hayden, the fill-in boyfriend, where his best friend tells a lie about Gia and he decides to believe him over her. After the fight, they didn’t talk, so this was supposed to represent what Gia wanted to say to Hayden, but was afraid to because of rejection.

(m) INP [October #1] How Could I Have Known?

“You want to throw your life away for some stupid conversation we had? Like we’re the first people ever who talk about people we want dead.” – The Good Girls, by Sara Shepard (#2 of The Perfectionists series)

 

*SPOILER ALERT*

 

(Poem for resolution)

How Could I Have Known?

 

How could I have known

that the pressure of being perfect

was slowly tearing down my walls.

Brick by brick they fall,

laughing, mocking me on the way down.

 

How could I have known

that the murderer I was looking for

was always right next to me-

memories that froze in time.

 

How could I have known

that society was stripping me of my sanity

until it hung on its last thread

humiliated and battered

from the unending tirade of my mother’s demands.

 

How could I have known

the people who detained me

were the ones I trusted,

yet all they told me were lies.

 

How could I have known

that I was the problem,

the odd one out,

that could never fit in.

I escaped into the woods-

gone,

with her forever at my side.

 

*CRAZY SPOILER ALERT! TURN BACK NOW IF YOU WANT TO READ THE BOOK!*

 

This poem is about a girl called Julie, one of the main protagonists in The Good Girls, by Sara Shepard. The first stanza of this poem talks about how much stress Julie is under to be perfect. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she knows that it’s slowly making her lose control. Life starts to feel like a chore and even though she tries to hide it with a fake smile, she knows that day by day, it gets more difficult to conceal.

The second stanza is about when she finds out that Parker, one of her best friends who was driven by protectiveness, killed the people that Julie’s newfound friends despise. However, what Julie doesn’t know is that Parker had died two years ago from abuse, and due to the loss, Julie suffered from a severe case of D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder). In her mind, Julie recreated Parker, thinking that Parker survived. It is revealed that all the times Julie thought Parker was talking, it was actually Julie talking and everything that Julie thought Parker did, Julie did. “memories that froze in time.” represents that Julie is still stuck in the time when Parker was alive.

The third stanza is about how Julie was so worried about society finding out about her mom, who was a hoarder. Julie was scared that her mom would ruin her life and force her move to another area once again, Parker was the only one to know about her mother’s condition. However, Julie’s mother verbally abused her if she didn’t do what her mother asked, so even more stress was added to Julie’s life.  Julie acted as if she was perfect so no one would suspect anything and made sure no one ever knew where she lived. This slowly damaged Julie’s sanity, because of the constant stress and fear she was under.

The fourth stanza is about her friends, Ava, Mackenzie, and Caitlyn, who in the end, told Julie that Parker was dead. Julie, still believing Parker was alive, was confused as to why they kept trying to ask her why she murdered those people, since she thought it was Parker who did it. She felt very betrayed because no one believed her.

In the last stanza, Julie felt like no one understood her and gave up. The story concludes with Julie pretending to accept the fact that she had D.I.D, in order to escape the metal facility. She runs away, believing that all she needs is Parker at her side.