Act 3 Scene 2
Enter Hamlet and three Players
Hamlet: Guys, you gotta act it with PASSION but also not too much!!! I’d have you whipped for overdoing it. The point is “to hold, as t’were, the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own image”.
First player: gotcha.
The Players exit
Hamlet: Yo Horatio! Look at Claudius during the play ok? There’s gonna be a scene that imitates my father’s death, so the king might look guilty
Horatio: Okay, I’ll watch him closely.
Enter Trumpets and Kettledrums, King Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and other Lords attendant with his Guard carrying torches. Danish March. Sound a Flourish.
Hamlet: They’re coming! I gotta play the fool now.
King: How are you, Hamlet?
Hamlet: I’m great!! I eat the air!!!!
King: Your answer confuses me.
Hamlet: Ophelia, lemme lie in your lap.
Ophelia: You’re strangely happy, Hamlet.
Hamlet: Well yeah I mean my mom looks happy but my dad’s died so…
Trumpets sound. The show begins:
Enter player King and Queen, they hug and the Queen leaves him to sleep. Another man enters and pours poison in the King’s ears.
King: turn on the lights!
King stands up and storms away
Horatio and Hamlet are alone
Horatio: I think that was enough evidence that the King did it
Hamlet: Yes, finally!
Polonius: your mother wants to see you in her chambers
Hamlet: hey that cloud kinda looks like a camel
Hamlet: ok I’ll go