我最好的朋友
Sheryl Fong
我最好的朋友是Annette。四年前，我们在同一个班学习。 Annette和我一样都有一头黑色的长发。她的眼睛小小的，额头宽宽的。她长得又矮又瘦，而我长得又高又苗条。因为我们有很多共同的爱好，所以我们见面时，有说不完的话。我们都爱好音乐。Annette喜欢一边听音乐，一边画画。我喜欢一边听音乐，一边看电影。除了爱好音乐，我们还喜欢一起购物。
我们两个人也有很多不一样的地方。Annette爱热闹，喜欢和朋友一起出去玩。如果她一个人在家，她会觉得很无聊。而我呢？我可以很安静，当我一个人在家的时候，我可以静静地看书，听音乐，等等。妈妈说我是一个美食家，放假时，我不是煮东西，就是吃东西。可是我怎么吃，都不胖。
我们俩不但是美丽的女孩，而且也爱帮助人。当我们发现别人一有困难时，就会马上去帮助他们。有一次，我在地铁上看见一位老婆婆，我立刻把座位让给老婆婆坐。Annette也很有爱心。有一次我们在商场买东西，她看见一个小女孩，找不到妈妈，在哭。Annette立刻走上前，安慰小女孩，而且帮她找妈妈。
这学期，我们是八年级的学生了。我们很幸运地又被分到同一个班上课。我们又可以一起学习，一起玩耍。我们从四年前认识到现在已经是四年的好朋友了，真不容易。我希望我们能有更多的共同爱好，我希望她对排球也感兴趣。这样，我们可以有更多的时间在一起。我希望我们永远都是好朋友。
Well done! I can see that you are fluent and comfortable writing in paragraphs in Chinese. Keep up the good work!
Wow! This piece really describes your friend. Great word choice you put in and very vivid details.
It is very clean and you have four solid paragraphs, each with great sentence structure. It all had a good flow to it and you had great word choice. Good job!
Great essay! Your writing piece had a wide range of sentence structures and excellent vocabulary. Your essay was really sweet and I had a very clear idea on what your similarities and differences are. This is a fantastic piece 🙂
I liked how you used good vocabulary, therefore making sound better. In addition to that, I liked how you added details that weren’t required for the assignment. Finally, I like your visual, since it “shows” your friendship with Annette.